According to this month’s Cosmopolitan magazine a whopping 17% of all relationships start with a one-night-stand. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either but if Cosmo says it, it’s gotta be true, right?
My skepticism waned a bit when I read their reasoning as to why so many people start their relationship from a hook-up. Times have changed. There is no longer the stigma that women carry who’ve had a casual affair. These days, frankly nobody cares what someone else does with their sexuality. From a former president who has oral sex in his office with an intern to televangelists who lose everything for a bit of a romp in the sack – it’s old news. Frankly I don’t care what you or anyone else does between the sheets. Unless it affects me directly it’s a non-event.
The time between the first date and first sex has reduced to sometimes just a few hours. The rest of the relationship dynamics haven’t changed. A relationship still needs attraction, compatibility and availability for things to work out.
So how does one move a hook-up to a relationship? Start by looking for clues that maybe he or she might be open to doing more things with you than just having sex. If you sense an openness, invite the other person to do relationship-y things. Invite them to a movie or to the theater or to a party with your friends. Yes, it’s a risk you could lose the whole friends with benefits thing you’ve got going on, but you’ve got a 50% chance of getting the whole ball of wax too. Nothing ventured is nothing gained!