Better than fiction
As many of you know, I’m an American and an Australian and now I live in New Zealand. Even I couldn’t make up stuff this stupid. In today’s news from stuff.co.nz is this article.
A New Zealand man who claimed to have been left speaking Australian after being raped by a wombat has been sentenced to 75 hours community service.
Arthur Ross Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker, admitted in the Nelson District Court yesterday to the charge of using a phone for a fictitious purpose, after calling police with the message, “I’ve been raped by a wombat”.
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police communications centre, threatening to “smash the filth” if they arrived at his home that night.
When asked if he had an emergency, he replied “yes”, Mr Stringer said.
On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help.
He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.
“I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out,” Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said.
“Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know, I didn’t hurt my bum at all,” Cradock then told the operator.
Mr Stringer said alcohol had played a big part in Cradock’s life. However, defence lawyer Michael Vesty said alcohol was not a problem that day.
Judge Richard Russell said he was not quite sure what motivated Cradock to make those statements to the police.
In sentencing, he warned Cradock not to do it again.
Back in Australia nobody would think that a wombat could rape anyone. They move so slowly that most people call them speed bumps.
LOL…a wombat is such an innocent creature. How could it…
C’mon now — I was born at night but it wasn’t last night! You had to have made this up you sicko you….no on second thought, it’s probably only too true sadly.
We are truly living in some weird times!
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I can say nothing after reading that article. Just….nothing eeeewwwwwww
The only wombat here is the one that called the Police to make the complaint.
In Australia wombat not only refers to the animal but anyone that acts a bit of a goose.
lol, wtf. Interesting and comical, yet sad if true.
Hmmmm… speed bump or speed hump…whether his wombat was human or not… makes you wonder… Could have been a small hairy person?
That was hilarious
You know, before now, I’d even seen a wombat. Now I know what they look like and what their sexual preference.
You live and learn. Well, at least I do.
Tsk. Tsk. Who knows what really happened? I used to have a wombat in my backyard once (before the next block was bulldozed to make way for a pizza parlour)and I can assure you there is more to wombats than you think.
An unsuspecting wombat could be reading your post right now and feeling dreadfully hurt. It’s tantamount to wombat vilification and there should be a law!!!