Can you fall in love over the net?
In a word, no. I don’t believe you can.
I think you can get to know someone and you might be in love with the idea of having the person you perceive him or her to be in your life forever, but I don’t think you can truly be “in love” over the net.
Remember that I do have some history on this subject. Back in 1994, before the www existed in Orlando, Florida, I met the man who is now my husband through a personal ad on a newsgroup sent to a local bulletin board system. We emailed back and forth many times. He seemed like such a nice man with goals, aspirations and morals similar to mine. The first emails took a day or so to reply to and before the first week was out we were both waiting for a reply.
I thought that there must be something to this or I wouldn’t be so eager to hear from him again. He seemed so perfect. We went to calling each other. (I was in Orlando, Florida, remember but he was near Melbourne, Australia!) Then we sent each other things from where we were, our favorite music and we were the best of friends, even though we’d never been in the same room together.
One day I told my grown children that I thought I’d take a trip to Australia to meet this man and they were both very upset.
“What if he’s an axe murderer or a rapist?”
This was WAY before it was common to meet someone online. There weren’t any dating sites because there were no sites at all where we lived. We ARE old after all.
Anyway, I decided that I had to know if he was perfect or not. I kept asking myself, “What if he IS perfect and I live my whole life always wondering?” Of course he could have been full of crap and a loser but I still needed to know. My soul told me to go. That’s the best way to describe how I felt. I just had to go.
I arrived in Melbourne and he was there to meet the plane with a bouquet of roses. When he saw me, he tossed the flowers on the floor and gave me the biggest hug. Then he picked up the flowers and gave them to me. I’ll never forget how great that felt.
Was he perfect? He certainly was. He still is. Ok, he’s a man and well, men do things that will always irritate women. Sometimes he leaves the toilet seat up, sometimes he forgets to take out the trash and sometimes he forgets how to empty the dishwasher. What he never forgets to do is tell me how much he loves me — every day. He treats me as a complete equal in everything.
So we decided if we could find love through the internet, maybe we should try to help others. That’s when SexyAds.com was born. Why SexyAds? To be honest, at first I thought it was a bit full-on. As the years have passed, I have come to realize that every relationship, whether you meet in person through a friend, or at a club or even on the internet, it’s all about the sex. It’s how we’re built.
Yes, I know sex is only a small part of any relationship. Friendship is way more important to me, but I’ll admit that I wouldn’t want a relationship that was only friendship. I like the intimacy that we share and would feel a great loss not to have it in my life.
So, that’s my story and I didn’t fall in love “over the net” but the net certainly played a huge part in helping two people find each other from so far apart.
What a lovely story!!! I’m happy you shared this.
Well, I can tell you that I used to be a internet power dater, I’d meet men at a Borders for a quick coffee, but I never fell in love with any of them. It’s like I knew right off that they weren’t the one. I wouldn’t mind a long distance friendship, ’cause if it stands the test of time, who knows, it could grow into something big.
I agree you can’t fall in love that way but if you are lonely enough the mind can trick itself and that feeling can be even stronger than real life love. That’s why it’s important for people to meet for coffee of something early on to avoid stringing out emotions that are irrational. Great post.
Well I sometimes miss things, but it sounds like you did fall in love VIA the internet. Now I’ve met one woman who had grown kids and met a guy in England and went and never came back. So maybe that’s how things go.
And certainly in 2000 when I was running my own dating site I saw it happen quite a bit. And even now there’s a woman in Tuscan I met via Myspace (a very rare situation). And I can tell she WANTS to tell me she loves me. But I keep finding reason to interrupt her-at least until she gets to Chicago and gives me a look over!
Hmm, this was an interesting point. I don’t agree with you that you can’t fall in love online, you can… even dangerously so, even before ever meeting that person, touching that person that fills your mind every day.
Love is a curious thing though. I always ask myself how one can fall in love with someone you have never “met”, it’s just a name right? some emails and chats? just text? but that’s the same argument I’ve seen many husbands use when they “flirt” online with other women.
Love can indeed come in all shapes and forms, even in a dream, then you meet that person years later. Sounds crazy? Perhaps, but who knew the earth was round back in the day or that the moon wasn’t made of cheese after all.
There are still wonders in this world… luckily
Great post!
Wow, that’s a great story, I’m glad it worked out. It seems like more and more people are getting together over the internet and having successful relationships to boot. It may be time for to take a serious foray into the online dating world:)
I couldn’t agree more. I met my wife online, but it wasn’t Love until we’d met. It’s easy to fall in love with being in love online, and it’s definitely possible to maintain love online, but falling in love is far too… chemical to happen without the involvement of your senses.
This is a great story with a great happy ending. I am going to have to check sexy ads out. Thanks for posting this.
I think that it is a possibilty cause I think when you are emailing you are getting to know the inside of a person and not let the external hinder. Did you exchange pictures in the email? My husband tells me everyday that he loves me. Even when he is mad at me. He gets over it quick. We have been married for twelve years. I love your story though
I must disagree here! I fell in love over the internet, in a sense. We’re still together today, 6 years and 2 kids later!