Dumped
Anyone alive who’s ever been in a relationship either has been or risks getting dumped. What to do when that happens to you?
Step back and relax. There is nothing you can do right now to change anything. If he or she has just done the dumperoo, now is not the time to change anyone’s mind.
What you shouldn’t do is any of the following:
- Calling him or her. As much as you want to hear their voice or try to convince them you’re “the one”, resist it. Maybe they’ll miss you and by calling you’ll sound desperate. See how the missing goes on their end first and maybe it’s your voice that they’ll ache to hear.
- Send him or her an e-mail. This is the same as the phone call. You’re forcing them to listen to you and all you end up doing is wondering and worrying and not knowing.. did they get the mail? did they read the mail? why aren’t they answering? Maybe they deleted without reading. You will never know so don’t waste your time. You’re only setting yourself up for feeling bad all day and probably tomorrow too.
- Give him or her advice. It’s going to do you no good at all to tell them they’ve made a mistake by dumping you. Remember this is their life and their choices and for whatever reason, you are not fulfilling the needs they have and they’re making a change. For most people it’s not a judgement on the quality of the person they’re dumping, it’s the unfulfilled needs they have. You can’t do anything about it and maybe for them, it’s not a mistake.
- Expect him or her to come back. Regardless how much you took them for granted while you were together and regardless how much you know that’s going to change, expecting them to come back because of this is nonsense. It’s over. The chances of them coming back are miniscule, so start exploring your singlehood starting now. Make plans on how you’ll re-enter the dating world and how you’ll attract someone new (and better) into your life. Think about your needs and what sort of person you should attract to fill them.
- Change. For goodness sake, don’t try to change or tell them you’ll try to change just to make the relationship continue. Chances are that there is nothing you could change that would get things back to where they were and if you had changed the habits they didn’t like before the dumping, you would have gotten dumped anyway. The love for you wasn’t there.
The most important thing to remember in any relationship breakup is that it is over. Endure the pain, knowing that it will go away and you’ll be left a better person more worthy of the next love in your life.
you can learn from being dumped, why do you keep attracting losers? What makes you deserving of the “good ones”?
When dumped the best thing to do is walk away and not look back. Have no regrets and put it as far from your mind as you can. To let him upset you too long is just padding on his ego. Move on to something and someone better. Best of all do something for yourself, don’t even put time into dating right away. Honour yourself for awhile. Learn something new, try a new hobby, spend time with a group of people doing something interesting. I got through a divorce that way.
You forgot the ultimate DON’T…
DON’T TRY TO KILL YOURSELF… it sounds like common sense but some people set their whole lives to be centered around the other individual, and when that ends, it seems as though the whole world has collapsed.
Unfortunately the world must go on with or without you. Killing yourself wont even slow down the world one second. Life and Love may be rare gifts in this universe, but the universe does not need these gifts to keep existing.
Occasionally I think about some who didn’t learn this lesson and I have sad thoughts, but their lovers are never coming back to them. Instead I have lost friends, and a submissive or two, to a black army of the dead, that can come back no more.
(Don’t think badly of Me, but I have lost more than my share of ex’s to death after a breakup)