Is your sweetie cheating online?

This is a really touchie subject for a lot of people because depending upon which partner you ask, they are both right. If the husband is flirting online the wife feels betrayed. I can understand how she’d feel that way, too. He’s talking about intimate subjects with another woman when he should be talking to his wife. Then you talk with the husband about why he’s spending time with another woman online and the anger blurs a bit. Here’s one guy’s reply to me:

I’m a happily married man in most every aspect of my life, every aspect except my sexual life. There is none. My wife loves me, of that I’m sure, but she doesn’t want me in the way that a woman can want a man. She says she’s too tired or not feeling well or one of the kids might come in and didn’t already we do this one day this week? That’s not enough for me.

I won’t physically cheat on her but aren’t I entitled to some bit of intimacy in my life? She can’t say we haven’t talked about it, we do all the time - til I’m as blue in the face as I am in the balls. She ends up calling me a pervert for wanting sex a few times a month. I’m not obsessive about it but it feels really really good to be physically loved that way.

So I chat with women online. Some are like me and their husbands are no longer interested in sex or they’re single mothers who feel stuck at home all the time but aren’t dead from the waist down.

So what do you do? The comment could just as well have been from a woman because the cheater is not always male. Are they wrong? If your partner doesn’t want you even a few times a month should you give up on a sexual life forever? Personally I couldn’t imagine it. Two bodies - skin to skin, moving together in joyful harmony - don’t get me started or we’ll be here all day!

If you’re worried that your partner or spouse might be having an online affair which *might* break into real life there are a few questions to ask yourself to see if your relationship might be at risk. If it is, have a good look in a mirror to see if there is any reason you might take the blame for their needing affection and intimacy from outside the relationship. (this is not always the case, there are heaps of serial cheaters out there, so I’m not blaming every spouse for what their other half does!)

1. Does your partner use chatrooms more than an hour a day?
2. Do you find yourself in bed alone waiting for a cuddle while your spouse is talking with someone else?
3. If you walk in on them while they’re chatting do they immediately change windows?
4. Do they only chat when they’re in a room alone?
5. Do they spend more time on the computer than they do with you and the family?
6. Do they come to bed so late that getting up for work is difficult or they’re grumpy because of lack of sleep?

If you could answer yes to a few of these then chances are your spouse is looking for intimacy online. Remember that they aren’t meeting someone in person but for many that’s a small consolation. Get the mirror out and see what you could do to show that you are still in love and want to get that spark back into your relationship. There are plenty of ways to get some attention but that’s a post for a different day!