Remember back in the early days of Playboy when it was finally OK to look at sexuality? In spite of what the internet has offered in terms of accessibility to pornography, Hugh Hefner taught us all that it was OK to get the magazine. The photos each showed off the sexuality of the woman but done so in such a classy manner that “normal” everyday people were buying the magazine. I only read the articles, I promise.

When the Internet was in nearly every house in the US it became OK to look at sexuality and many (most?) men had a field day looking at women who were sexual in a way that their wives and girlfriends were not. Here was a new sexual outlet that made them feel good and they took to it like a magnet jumps on a fridge.

Now that the world wide web is in nearly every house around the world, changes are still happening. Now it’s the women who are realizing that it’s not just OK to look at sexuality, it’s finally OK to “be” sexual in that safe environment.

When we first started SexyAds.com, in the sealed section we had a few raunchy photos of women submitted and few more raunchy photos of couples and the rest were men. There were heaps of regular photos too and still are. Lately we’re seeing more women comfortable with uploading a sexy photo of herself. Not necessarily nude, but the photos evoke a sexuality we weren’t seeing five or ten years ago.

Women are catching up to the fact that sexuality, touching and sex are an important part of a relationship and a woman wants to choose a guy who’s going to flip her switches.

Before you tell me, I know it’s possible to have a relationship without sex and be completely happy. I applaud those who can be happy in that situation. Don’t count me in that crowd because I crave touching, being touched and everything that goes with it. They don’t call me a sexy old broad for nothing.

In Australia there is a geek magazine that comes out monthly called APC and it reviews computers, printers, operating systems, games and all things a geek needs to know more about. In their March issue 2008 they ran a big spread about how to get lucky on the Second Life site. I nearly fell over. I don’t normally read the magazine because there’s so little geek in me it’s not funny, but sometimes when you’re on the throne and there’s nothing else to read, even the APC magazine will do. Anyway, according to the article, women join Second Life with all their parts - ready for action it seems. Men join and they get a body but they don’t get a penis. They have to buy one. The point I’m making is that 5 years ago APC wouldn’t have run a story about how to get lucky with cybersex. It’s OK to talk about it now.

We all have fantasies, I’m sure. Many women fantasize about slowly undressing before a roomful of appreciative males. Now most of us wouldn’t dare getting up on stage in a club and doing that (I’d worry that my pasties would fall off or that I’d get booed off the stage) but online that’s what is happening night after night. They are feeling sexy and safe in front of adoring crowds in video chatrooms all over the net.

Has this changed the morality of the people? I don’t think so. We’re all the same people we were before. We wouldn’t think about robbing a bank or stealing from our neighbors or conking our grandmother over the head. We still go to church and PTA meetings. We still vote and we’re still kind to animals. The difference is that we’re taking charge of our happiness in every aspect of our lives - including sex.

Ever since I was a young woman I have always tried to keep my pubic hair nicely trimmed. It wasn’t until I was older than most of you that it became fashionable to go Brazillian - shave it all off smoothly. I suppose that for those who are waxing, shaving and even lasering the hair off permanently, the lure is that feeling of neatness and cleanliness.

For me, there’s the issue of looking like an underage girl that puts me off going hairless and frankly I kinda like just a little touch of fuzz down there.

Like most of you who are coupled, Mr. SOB and I have tried shaving each other (ages ago to be honest) and I didn’t like him hairless either. Yes, I’ll admit that we both found the idea erotic but after that we both decided that we could live without it.

I’m not a very hairy person anywhere on my body, so I don’t know how I would feel if I had really thick, coarse hair down there. If that was the case, maybe I’d opt to whisk it all off too. What’s your preference?

I did hear about pubic hair barbers that will style your pubes in cute shapes. Isn’t that a bit much for something that is covered up most of the time? Maybe my age is showing.

I was shopping yesterday and came across the prettiest young woman I’ve seen in a long time. She had lovely auburn hair halfway down her back, a slender but curvy figure and a smile that would melt an army. I thought to myself that she must have the world by the tail.

It was just a passing moment and I kept shopping and when I got to the checkout, she was in front of me in the queue. That’s when I noticed it.

She was dirty. There were smudgy marks on her neck where she hadn’t washed for oh, a week or so probably. Not only that, she had a tank top on and the straps were not covering her bra straps. They were nasty. You know the ones I’m talking about.. those used to be white but they were grey with dirt.

How difficult is it to keep yourself clean? If she had money to shop, she had money to buy soap. Gross, Gross, Gross!

I couldn’t imagine sleeping with a dirty person. Maybe I’m too old and crotchety, I don’t know for sure, but to me dirty equals lazy and who wants to fuck a lazy person?

People, if you’re worried that people will think you’re religious if you keep yourself clean (cleanliness is next to godliness), it’s not going to happen. I never look at a clean person and think, “Geez, he must be holy.” Get in the shower! (not you, her over there)

Sex is about pleasure, so stop worrying about reaching the goal posts and enjoy the journey. You’d watch a football game even if your favorite team doesn’t score, right? It’s the same thing. Leave your ego outside the bedroom door and start getting the pleasure about of enjoying each other’s bodies.

The first thing to do is to talk about what turns each of you on. Remember that what each of you says is not about hurting anyone’s feelings. The more sexual information you can take on board about your partner, the better lover you will be.

Plan a time when you can light candles, slowly undress each other, cuddle and share things that turn you on. Let your partner know it matters what they like because you want them to feel good. Don’t forget that it’s all about the journey and this will put you both at ease.

Many women have inhibitions about their bodies and that can affect how they respond sexually. All women want to feel sexy and desired, so tell her how excited she gets you, and compliment her best features. If your lover is self-conscious she’s not going to really get into the moment. Once she knows how beautiful you think she is or how she smells or tastes, she’ll begin to relax. This can’t be a one-off occurence though — she’ll be checking next time to see if you still feel the same way.

While we’re on the subject of women, if you make a point of telling her she’s desirable at other times than in bed, she’ll be looking forward to that next sexual encounter with you.