Someone asked me this morning whether I liked red or black. Red’s always been my favorite color so red it was. She told me that meant I was a slutty horndog. While that’s never bothered me in the past, I wondered why red meant that.

She showed me.

Now these look really nice, don’t they? I began to wonder that perhaps I had chosen badly because these bike racers were wearing tight lycra outfits. You know the kind I’m talking about. That’s why women all watch bicycle racing. It’s not because we like to watch them race down hills and slog up hills… no no no. It’s the lycra shorts.

With every step on the pedal, their equipment flops from side to side.

Oh come on, tell me you haven’t watched it happen? If you say you haven’t I’ll think you’re telling a big fib.

Ok, so now we should get to why I’m a slutty horndog for choosing red over black.

Well, hellooooo boys. What are you giving me for Christmas??

Now where was I when they were looking for models for a chocolate corset?? Oh I know, I’d have had to grow ten inches and lose 50 pounds but heck, to wear chocolate, most women would at least try! The Salon du Chocolat chocolate show finishes today in Moscow and the corset pictured here along with a heap of other fashions made from or embellished with chocolate are on the catwalk.

There are several cities around the world that host the chocolate show and it’s not cheap to attend with tickets costing $150 each. You do get to see the fashions and taste chocolate tidbits, from some of the most famous chefs in the world, drink chocolate martinis and champagne and leave with a goody bag filled with yummy things to eat.

I can just see me wearing the chocolate corset. My husband would walk around me and get a good look.

Then before you knew it, he’d have eaten the boobs right off me.

At a site like SexyAds.com you’d think making her feel sexy would be the number one answer but in fact it’s not. Women come to a site like ours because they’re looking for something and most of them have needs bigger than needing to feel sexy.

So what is it that some guys have and others don’t that makes women reply to them over and over again? Don’t stress about it any more because there is no “secret”. These men have figured out what the women need and they give it to them. It’s that simple.

What do women need?

It’s not the same for all women but there are a few things that come up time and time again when we ask women what they’re looking for at a community like SexyAds.

I’m looking for someone to make me laugh. I’ve worked all day and I haven’t talked with anyone who made a “connection” with me. I come here and email or chat with someone who makes me laugh and it’s all the better because he really wants me to laugh and to laugh with him.

I came here because I was referred by a friend ages ago but I stay because I feel validated as a woman and as a human being. It’s not all about sex here, although there’s plenty of that. I find men who like me just the way I am. I don’t have to be or do anything other than be nice and fun. I’m treated as an equal. I usually feel terrific when I leave the site because someone has made me feel worth listening to.

I peeked in to SexyAds purely on curiosity. I’ve always been a vanilla babe but there’s been this small part of me who wanted to know more. What were other people doing in the bedroom that I’d never tried? More importantly what were they doing that I’d never heard of before. For instance, I thought watersports had to do with waterskiing! LOL I’ve made so many friends, both male and female that I feel part of the community. There are always new things to learn though and I have a huge list of things I want to try out with a new partner once I settle on one!

By far more women said they go to a dating site to meet someone who’ll find them important enough to listen to. It’s not rocket science. Feeling sexy happens for most women after they get to know a man and begin to think what sex with him would be like. So if you’ve been writing that you “could lick her all night”, try going for her need for validation and acceptance. Check her ad and write about something in it that proves her words were important enough to read before replying. It does work.

The title of this post was the subject line in an email I received over the weekend. It’s been a long time since I heard the phrase double bagger but I knew instantly what the guy meant. For those of you who’ve been living under a rock for decades, when your date is so ugly you have to put a bag over her head just to have sex with her - well a double bagger is when you put a bag on your head too just in case hers falls off.

Have you ever met someone online who fudged the photo a bit? Oh hell, have you ever met someone for the first time after you’d exchanged photos and couldn’t tell which one she was in a crowd? That’s what happened to Larry. This woman had sent him a photo of herself when she was in high school. Just testing the water, apparently. Then she sent a photo when she was 25 or so. She’d put on a few pounds but was still fairly attractive. That’s it, she’s now 38, she says, and couldn’t wait to meet him.

They agreed to meet at Starbucks and he arrived right on time. He waited. He waited some more. He looked around and there was one woman sitting alone and she was looking around too. Could that be HER, he thought? Surely not. This woman was at least 50 and weighed nearly 250 pounds. The woman in the photo weighed maybe 145. His back was to her and he’d not caught her eye, so he decided to wait some more.

A few minutes later he turned around and she was looking at him at the same time and smiled with joy at recognizing him and waved for him to come over.

He said it was the longest walk in his life.

Not because she was “fucking ugly” but because he was deceived. (I’m sure fucking ugly probably had something to do with it!)

When asked why she looked so different from the photo she’d sent him, she said that if she’d sent him a current photo he wouldn’t have shown up. (no duh)

So that leaves us with the question, what DO you do with a double bagger situation like that? Do you put everything in the past and go on to find out if the person is really nice after all or do you get up and walk out because you feel deceived?

I thought about it for about an hour and decided that if it happened to me, I’d stay and see if there was anything about this person that could get me interested even if it was just for friendship. I think we learn something from everyone we meet and we usually learn something about ourselves too.

What did he do? He left. He said he was probably rude when he told her that if she’d trusted him enough beforehand he’d have still met her because he really enjoyed their communication. He told her that if a friendship didn’t have trust it had nothing and he turned around and walked out.